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[16 Aug 2004|05:19am] |
From Here
( Last Night )
Ellie awoke from a dreamless sleep the next morning. Still tired, she lingered in bed for awhile before rolling out and getting ready for the day ahead. As she was putting on her tank top, tube top, skirt, and boots an idea hit her. She searched for a piece of paper and pencil, and flopped down on her bed when she had found them. Making four columns on the paper, she named two of them "pros" and two of them "cons", then labeled them either "Jack" or "Luke". She sat on the bed for a moment, staring at the paper and slightly chewing on the pencil. But for some reason, she couldn't think of anything to write.
"I can't believe I even had such a stupid idea. I really must be losing it." Ellie crumpled the paper and tossed it onto her desk. Flopping backwards onto the bed, Ellie tried to relax, not really hungry enough to go check on breakfast.
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[29 Jun 2004|11:39am] |
From Here
As Ellie walked away from Jack's room, the tears just kept coming. She wanted to find Alice, to confide in her sister all the pain that was in her right now. But Ellie hadn't seen her sister all day, and in her present state, she wasn't about to go looking for her either. All she could hope for is that her sister turned up soon.
Ellie was halfway back to her bedroom before she turned back and glanced at Jack's room. All the hurt that Jack's words had caused intensified, and Ellie lost control. She slumped down on the bench, put her head in her hands, and started to sob. In between sobs, she kept repeating to herself: "How could they do this to me"
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[09 Jun 2004|11:39pm] |
Ellie trudged into her room, and flopped down on her bed. She tried to calm herself but thoughts were buzzing in her head. Sighing, she reached under her pillow and grabbed her journal. Rummaging through a bedside table, she found a pencil and made herself comfortable on her bed again. Hopefully writing all of her thoughts down would help her straighten things out.
* I don't know what to do, journal. My life is soo complicated. I woke up this morning, all excited about the makeover idea, and now my life is miserable! I guess I better start from the beginning:
I found out that Jack came back. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to see that he's all right, and I was overjoyed when he swept me up in that hug earlier. Plus I think he has his memory back (I didn't get a chance to talk to his though so I'm not so sure). I mean, that day when I lost him during the fight was horrible, and I've been so worried about him ever since, but...but I don't know journal. On top of it all Luke's back too.
Yep journal, that's right. LUKE! I was standing there with Jack and he just walks up to me. It was like everyone else in the room just faded away. I just left Jack standing there and walked off with him. He still has that affect on me! Jack was mad that I just left him, so he started this food fight with Luke, wasting all of the lunch. I was so shocked that I just stood there. I couldn't believe how stupid I was.
So now I'm down here, trying to sort everything out. Journal, I know I have to choose, its just gotta be done. I just don't know how I'm gonna do it. First there's Jack. He's been my best friend since I got here. He was my first love, and he's always been there for me. But then there's Luke. When I'm around him, everything's different. I just can't explain it. The thing is, I fell for Luke when Jack was gone. If he had been there, would things have been different? Or would I still have fallen for Luke? Its things like this that make it so hard journal. I love the both of them journal, and I just don't know what to do! *
With that, Ellie shut her journal and stuck it under her pillow. Flipping around so that she was on her stomach she started talking to herself: "I need to go and find Patsy or Cloe or Gel. I need to get someone's opinion. I can't do this on my own." Then something clicked in Ellie's head. She hadn't seen her sister at all today. "Alice would know what to do. I wonder where she is..." Quickly dismissing her sister's absence, Ellie tried to work up the courage to find someone to talk to, but decided to wait until things calmed before leaving the sanctuary of her room.
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[09 May 2004|10:53am] |
Ellie slowly opened her eyes and groaned. She stretched her arms in front of her as she sat up. Looking around, she realized it must be late morning. Considering the long talk she had with Alice the night before, she would be surprised if it was earlier. Getting up slowly, she walked over to her mirror and stared at her reflection with slight disgust. Lightly touching her hair, she decided it was time for a change. She tried to rack her brain for ideas on how to style her hair when it hit her. She seemed to remember Gel toying with hair things and make-up on the stairs the night of the ceremony. Gel would be perfect in helping Ellie get a new look.
With a burst of excited energy, Ellie ran a comb through her hair and fixed her make-up. She took one last decided look in the mirror: This was the last time she would ever look like this. Turning on her heels, she left her room and made her way up to the cafe, hoping there was still some breakfast food left.
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[29 Jan 2004|10:26pm] |
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Ellie had ben keeping quite in the hospital for a long time. She had kept quiet, not wanting to bother anyone, or get in the way. Or at least, that had been part of it. Even with all the action going on in the hosptial, the only thing Ellie could think about was Jack. She wanted to know more details about the fight with Cloe and Ved. Even moreso, she wanted to know how the rest of the MallRats would react. Thinking of all their responses, Ellie began to panicked and ran out of the Hospital, and into her room. She crashed on her bed, burying her head into her pillow, but she stopped herself before she started to cry. "You can't do this now," Ellie scolded herself. "I have to help Jack. I have to think of a way to get him out of this." Then Ellie remember what she had told Cloe in the hospital. "That's it! If I say its my fault, they can't hurt Jack. Maybe Salene and everyone else will try to help him get his memory back!" Satisfied with her solution, Ellie laid back, put her hands behind her head, and just relaxed.
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[20 Jan 2004|09:59pm] |
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Ellie struggled to take off the covers. She was in her own bed, and she guessed that she had been sleeping for awhile. She had wanted to head up to the Cafe after leaving Jacks room, but she was so tired, she had just wanted to take a nap. But a nap wasn't the word for it. She got up, leaning against the wall for balance. She hadn't eaten in a few days. She had made the stew, but she didn't recall actually enjoying a bowl herself. She walked slowly, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. She heard voices coming from the Cafe. Thinking of the food that must have been there, she hurried up a little, finally entering the cafe.
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[18 Nov 2003|07:50pm] |
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Ellie's nightmares had woken her up. She had dreamt that all the Mallrats, past and present, had ganged up on her, blaming her for everyone's disappearance. Their screams were so realistic and ran through her head until she finally woke up. but when she looked around, she was still there, laying next to Jack. Her stomach grumbled as she tried to think about the last time she had eaten. As much as she wanted food, she wasn't in the mood to get up and see the Mallrats. She stretched out a bit, and then snuggled closer to Jack. If only she could stay like this forever.
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[01 Nov 2003|10:27pm] |
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Ellie went into her room and plopped down on the bed. She started to grab her journal, but then she noticed Siva's stuff, and her makeshift bed. A wave of guilt passed over her. She had completely forgotten about Siva's moving in. The past few days had been such a daze. Ellie's guilt got the best of her, and she decided to do something nice for Siva. She sat on her bed and thought about a plan, and who she could get to help.
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[20 Oct 2003|09:08pm] |
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Ellie tossed and turned in bed until she finally woke up. She looked around her room. She wasnt sure what time it was, or how long she had slept. All Ellie knew is that after her and Siva's talk, she had felt extremely exhausted, and wanted to rest. Now, after some odd hours of sleep, Ellie only wanted one thing. And that was food. So she got up, ran her fingers through her hair, and headed towards the cafe.
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[15 Oct 2003|11:06pm] |
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Ellie ran into her room, grabbed her journal, and flung herself on her bed, trying to hold back the tears.
*I dont get it journal. Im back home, surrounded with people that I love, that love me back, but somethings still not right. I mean I had a pretty good day, got to know Siva better, and got to catch up with Cloe and Tai San. I really have great friends, but the truth is, I'm still lonely. I look around me, and everyone's paired up. Amber and Bray, Salene and Pride, Lex and Siva (or is it Tai San?), and theyre all so happy. But I can't help but being jealous. I mean, they have the one they love right here, while I've lost everyone! Alice and Jack were captured...Luke just up and left me. Why am I always left alone!! I just wish Jack was back.*
Ellie closed her journal, unable to continue. Tears started rolling down her cheeks again, but this time, she made no effort to try and stop them. She just rolled over, and tried to muffle her sobs with her pillow, so no one would hear her.
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[11 Oct 2003|05:01pm] |
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*I just woke up, but I wanted to write now just in case I dont get another chance later. Dinner last night was great. It was so great to be back at the mall and feel like a real family again. I didnt get a chance to help Mouse with her reading, but today's another day. Gel and Siva seem really nice. And its great to know that everyone's coming back again. I just wish Jack was coming back...Maybe I can find out what happend to him. But first, I'm going to have some breakfast.*
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[06 Oct 2003|10:30pm] |
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*Im in my room now. Finished walking around the mall. It feels so great to be back. But after all that time alone, I need to talk to someone. Maybe Ill go find salene and see if she needs me. Or go find someone to talk to. I want to see the rest of the mallrats!*
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| Home...At last |
[04 Oct 2003|12:18pm] |
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*Well, I promised that I wouldnt write until I was back at the Mall, and I kept my promise. Not long after my last entry, I ran into May, and she led me back to the Mall. I was so glad to see her. She was like my hero. I dont think I would be here right now if it wasn't for May. It was so great to see everyone, and after the greeting I got from Mouse and Salene, I can't wait for dinner. From what I saw, Bray, Amber, and their baby are finally together. I wanted to come to Jack's room first though. See if there were any signs of his presence. Maybe he had returned, and May didnt know about it. That's where I am right now, Jack's room. It hurts, knowing he hasnt been here. But this place brings back such happy memories...
I wanna go see my room and the rest of the mall. And I want to go find May. I dont think Ive thanked her enough for bringing me back. Plus, I have to go to dinner. Wouldn't want Mouse to think Im not eating again.*
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| Thankful |
[29 Sep 2003|06:52pm] |
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*I just woke up after a nap, but i just had to tell you that after days of wandering around, with barely anything to eat, Ive finally reached the city. In fact Im just outside the market. Im so excited. I cant wait to see everyone. To get back to the mall, to see my room again. To see Jack... That would be the best. Seeing Jack again. I cant wait!!
I feeling a little dizzie, but its probably because im hungry. I have to keep going though. I cant give up now, im so close. the next time i write, ill be in the mall. I promise you that journal.*
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[26 Sep 2003|11:03pm] |
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*I don't know how far i traveled, all I know is that I have to rest. I hope I'm getting close to the city because I don't think I can for much longer. The only thing that's keeping me going is hope that Jack's safe at the mall. I better rest up if I want to cover some ground tomorrow. Good Night!*
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[25 Sep 2003|09:59pm] |
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*oh wow i cant believe that was me back there...i actually left that horrid place...i left the technos...it was just awful after jack left! i cant believe he left me. he said hed come back for me but he never did! i did it on my own though. and of all things to bring with me, i brought you. youll keep me sane though. I just gotta get back to the city. back to the mall rats. maybe theyve seen jack. hopefully...*
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